Darkness to light Chapters 3and 4
for science to take care of his successes and push him forward. How many tears I shed during the past twenty days when I remembered staying up late at night to prepare the materials for his masters thesis and I convinced myself that his success was my success. How naive I was.
I went carrying the tray with the cups and cake in one hand and the juice bottle in the other. For the first time in our lives he got up and took the tray from me so we could sit close to the camera and not show our parents or children that there was a disagreement at all. He deliberately put his hand behind my back and kissed me every now and then while talking to his mother. I didnt mind in fact I returned his actions to show that I hadnt changed and that she wouldnt suspect anything. After the conversation ended and he hung up the phone I would forcefully remove his hand and look at him with hatred. Sometimes I would shout at him Youre a good liar and youve made me a good liar too. I really hate you. Then I would leave him and go to my room throw myself on the bed and continue my sobbing and crying over what I had become. His wound and my hatred for him had robbed me of my pure heart. Deep in my mind I realized that I had changed yes I had changed for the worse. It wasnt my fault what I was doing but his fault. I contacted one of my friends that night and I cried hysterically telling her about my feelings that had turned from love to pure hatred and how I felt pain in my heart that was tearing me apart and making me want to kill him a thousand times. Her answer was as expected she told me I should end my sitting with him stay away and see a psychologist because I was killing myself this way.
Let silence guide us to the end of the road... to the abyss we dont hope for. My mind faltered before I even wrote the first word. My compass was lost in the mirage of beautiful dreams. My strength abandoned me in the darkness of long streets. Now we have nothing but to walk and stumble theres no alternative to taking the final journey.
